https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p17kBv8F5I
This video sends me straight back to my childhood Christmases -- waiting for mom and dad to pull out the Christmas decorations, and then we'd dive into the boxes, pulling out all the trinkets and toys and start setting up all around the house while we played a VHS of different Christmas clips. This was my favorite video from the tape and now I get to share it with my kids every year, thanks to the wonders of the internet!
We live far from extended family -- opposite coasts of the U.S. -- so another Christmas tradition I wanted to start when he had kids was a Cousin Christmas Swap, where each cousin would have another cousin to buy a present for. This way all of the cousins could still get to know each other and share with each other, even though they live so far apart.
Gift giving is one of my love-languages, so activities like this are vital to me! Our first few years of marriage, I bought or made gifts for EVERY sibling, niece and nephew, mom and dad, grandma and grandpa -- and that wasn't sustainable! So the Christmas Swap also helps us to feel the family bond of gift-giving, while still staying in budget.
Collect Participants
The first step in setting up the Cousin Christmas Swap is to find a designated person in the extended family that wants to be in charge. Since this activity is important to me, I put the swap together and then I invite other family members to join.
As the "official organizer," the first thing you need to do is find out who wants to participate. Some years may be tighter financially for certain families, so they can't participate. Or maybe the siblings don't want to participate, but they want their kids in the swap. Or maybe EVERYONE wants in!
Some of our example years:
- All siblings and cousins included (i.e. my brothers and sisters, plus their spouses and kids)
- Only two families wanted to participate, so we decided to do larger family gifts instead of individual gifts
- No siblings, and only cousins included
- Single siblings and all cousins (since us siblings with kids are buying most of the gifts anyway)
Make sure it's a fun tradition though! Try not to get upset if no one else wants to participate that year. It's hard, I totally understand and have talked myself out of hurt feelings before. But there is a season for all things, and maybe it's just not right this year. Try again next year, and keep your excitement going!
Establish Rules
After you know who is participating, decide as a group if you want to decide the rules of the swap together or if you want the "official organizer" to create the limits. I came up with the rules myself with the original Cousin Christmas Swap, but the year that we only had two families participating I chatted with my sister-in-law directly to see if we wanted to change things up. That's when we decided to do a larger family gift instead of individual gifts.
Some questions to address:
- What is the individual budget per present? Or is it a limit per family?
- Are they store-bought gifts or handmade?
- When should the gifts be received by? Or a ship-by date?
- For gift ideas, who will be involved? Will the cousins talk directly, or create wish lists?
- Do shipping costs count in the budget, if shipping is needed? One way to get past shipping costs is to pass the gifts through other family members. For example, if we see grandparents before Christmas but not cousins, then we will leave the gifts with grandparents to deliver when they visit the other families.
- What are the rules on opening gifts? For example, does the cousin need to FaceTime the gift giver, so they can see the reaction? Will the gifts be opened only on Christmas, or on another specified day?
Create Swap Assignments
Now that the details of the swap are decided, it's time to make the assignments! You can be specific and figure out who are the best gift matches, or be more random. We go the random route, but make sure assignments are for people in a different family. No giving Cousin Christmas Swap gifts to your husband or your own kids!
Assignment Template
I use this Google Doc Template to create the slip assignments, so that it looks fancy and is a little more organized (click here to view the editable version; I will also include a non-editable PDF below). Before you actually start making the assignments, make sure to list out all of the participants, so you make sure to have the correct number of matches!
Random Name Picker
We've done pulling names out of a bowl, but the easiest solution for random name picking is doing it online!
- Visit MiniWebTool, or another random name picker
- Type in the participating names
- Click "Pick a Random Name"
- That person is assigned as the giftee to the first person on your assignment list. Make sure they aren't in the same family. I also make sure they haven't been gifted by that person before/recently.
- Delete that name and continue the process down your assignment list
Deliver Assignments
For our family, I separate the assignment slips by sibling (i.e. me and my kids; my brother and his kids), and text a screenshot of their section to that parent so they can help facilitate the gifting. Be creative, and fit what works for your family though. Make the assignments more formal by printing and mailing them, or send individual messages to each participant if they are older and don’t need assistance).
When To Start Planning
Searching for shopping deals is part of my routine, so I like to get assignments out early so I can help my kids start looking sooner. Usually it's early October for us, but in the days of Amazon Prime, you can make assignments later and still make it work!
Now, Create That Family Bonding!
Enjoy your time getting to know your family better, and enjoy the upcoming Christmas season!
Looking for gift ideas? Check out our gift guides!
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