My Grandpa Scroggins passed away in August last year, and I have thought about him a lot over the last months through smiles and some tears. Every time I wear the Alabama jacket I purchased with my siblings before the funeral, which has been often despite Florida weather. While teaching my kids how to share food. Dealing with the unknown of new job opportunities. As I was transcribing an audio file of his stories for my father's Christmas present. And even more now as Father's Day is approaching.
Maybe some of his advice and stories will inspire you too.
Even Splits
Grandpa's rule was if you were going to split a treat, the person making the split doesn't get to choose their side. So when the kids want to share that last cookie, the person that breaks the cookie in half doesn't get to pick which side they will eat. The other person gets to pick first! Then there isn't argument about which half is larger, because they did it to themselves!
Making Decisions
"There is no decision to make until a choice is presented to you."
Olson F. Scroggins
I don't remember the circumstances of his comment, or when he said it, but it's always stuck with me. This year it has helped me feel calm when confronted with unknown situations, like potential employment changes. Not knowing final outcomes always puts me on edge, and this has made me feel more present. Don't worry about all of the potential outcomes, just focus on your actions. You can't control if you'll get offered that new job, you can just do your best with your application and interview. Allow yourself to rest from worry about things you have no control over.
This quote now lives above my desk, to help me keep grounded. Download below, if it will help you.
"Heavenly Father, Help Me Find the Knife"
Along with my grandparents' love story in the transcribed audio file, Grandpa Scroggins talked about his faith and the first time he said a prayer. The sweetest story of being a small child, and one that I can't properly retell, so in his own words (and so I can hear his voice again):
And, uh, I know the Church is true. When I was younger than Adam, and the missionaries had come visit us, I was playing out in the lane near our house at the edge of the woods. And I lost a little knife and, uh, I was trying to find it and couldn't find it. And it was getting dark and the sun... moon was shining and that's my first prayer.
And I kneeled down there, “Heavenly Father, help me find the knife.” And I couldn't find it, and I was crying. And I went back to the house — started back and a moonbeam touched the knife on the side of the road. And that was my first prayer. And I know that the Lord hears and answers prayers.
Olson F. Scroggins
I'll See Him Again
My first grandparent to pass was my Grandma Scroggins in August 2020, when I was 30 years old. I had always worried about how it would feel, and it was a bizarre place to find myself. Traveling back to Birmingham was strange. Grandma and Grandpa had been moved to a nursing home, and their house sold the year before. But we were still able to visit with cousins and extended family before the services. When Grandpa arrived from the nursing home, everyone was encouraging him, and pressuring him, to say goodbye to Grandma in her casket. He didn't want to, and would sneakily try to leave the room via his wheelchair when he was left alone.
Finally before the services started, they got him to say goodbye to Grandma. "Goodbye, Novline. See you soon." In our church we believe that families are forever, and that marriages can last beyond death. Grandpa knew that Grandma was no longer in her physical body, and that he would see her again when he was finished on Earth. That helped me be at peace for Grandma's funeral, and for his a year later.
Even though Grandpa isn't with us anymore, I know his spirit is around us, and that he found Grandma on the other side. And I know I will be able to see him again one day, when my time is through. I'm grateful every day for his sacrifices and his example, and it makes me happy to think of him often.
Happy Father's Day, Grandpa.
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